Oh, you, Sony. You produced the PSP and the PS3. What more could we ever ask for? … Oh. My. God. What is that? Is that… NO, you're kidding! That's a PSP!? I thought it was a cell phone!
"Yes, it's the PSPGo. A totally better version of a PSP! Here's what you get on it that you would never on a regular PSP: 16 gigabytes! 16 frigging gigabytes! And it doesn't even come with a memory stick! So the memory's just there! OH-EMMITY-GEEEEEEEEEEEEE. 16 GBs! What do I do with it!? What would you do with it!?"
I know! Get games!
… Wait, where's the place for putting UMDs in? What the frig is this frigging nonsense? Agh, to hell with this. What kind of console is this where I can't play Dynasty Neon Genesis Kingdom Fantasy Quest Dissidia Portable Generation 2nd Strikeforce+!? I spent $50 on that. Wait. What's this? Oh, so that's the reason why it has so much memory. It's for the games on the PlayStation Network!
*angelic chorus*
Okay, let's go through all this complicated stuff and make an account. And now, let's go and buy stuff.
Oh my god. Final Heart Warriors Portable! For $19! I totally want this! Oh my god, demos of games! Oh my god, trailers! Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!
… Oh my god. I ran out of memory. Well, there's nothing to worry about since this adapter also acts as a USB cable! So I can transfer EVERYTHING onto my computer and save that on a folder on my desktop. I can also hook it up to the PS3 so I can do Remote Play!
Okay, now that all the games I don't want to play are out of the way, now to focus on Final Heart Warriors Portable. Oh my god, such clear graphic-- God, the text is so small. It's like the game was made for a PSP. God, what's wrong with you Sony? Man, I don't want to squint to read the dialogue… Hurts my eyes. It's like the GameBoy Micro all over again.
Ah, that was somewhat fun. Now to turn off my PSP. Wait. How the frig do I turn this infernal contraption off? Oh, the power switch. Neat. And then I can turn it back on by sliding the cover off the buttons. Wait, what? I can turn it back on using just any button? I just… NO. This is annoying!
The screen size is too small, the games are download only, and the frigging console turns on when you frigging push a frigging button. It's like a frigging 4rd gen iPod Nano.
tl;dr: The PSPGo is not worthy of my money, but it might make a good coaster for my drink!
Also, Merry Christmas to all the people of the world,
the users of Blogger/Blogspot,
and whatever else may be living out there in the reaches of space.
And if you don't believe in Christmas, Happy Hanukkah.
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